zlayer.net

This is a small demo why programmers can usually get to be good cooks! Here is how you cook a nice catfish in some mushroom and wine sauce in JavaScript.

Disclaimer: I’m not a JavaScript ninja, and this was written in parallel!! to making the actual dinner, so I know it could be vastly improved. You should probably not follow the JavaScript examples from the script, especionally the pausing time! I just didn’t have the time to implement proper event engine that would run on its own.

First, the last part of the script (link) (which runs without errors in node.js v0.6.5 and Chrome Developer Console):

// Lets cook!!

ingreedients.push({"catfish filets": "2"});
ingreedients.push({"soy souce": "1 tsp"});
ingreedients.push({"pepper": "2 pinch"});
ingreedients.push({"wine": "1/2 cup"});
ingreedients.push({"pepper": "1 pinch"});
ingreedients.push({"salt": "1 pinch"});
ingreedients.push({"sliced mushrooms": "2 cups"});
ingreedients.push({"garlic": "2 pcs"});
ingreedients.push({"olive oil": "2 tsp"});
pan.heat(180);
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.heat(90);
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.heat(120);
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.braise();
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.simmer(10);
pan.add(ingreedients.next());
pan.simmer(6);
bakingPan.heat(120);
bakingPan.add(ingreedients.next());
bakingPan.add(ingreedients.next());
bakingPan.add(ingreedients.next());
bakingPan.bake(25);
bakingPan.serve();
console.log(log);

The last part – console.log – outputs all this stuff:
Warming up pan for 180 seconds…
…done
Adding 2 tsp olive oil to pan.
Warming up pan for 90 seconds…
…done
Adding 2 pcs garlic to pan.
Warming up pan for 120 seconds…
…done
Adding 2 cups sliced mushrooms to pan.
Braising olive oil, garlic, sliced mushrooms…
…done
Adding 1 pinch salt to pan.
Adding 1 pinch pepper to pan.
Simmering ingreedients olive oil, garlic, sliced mushrooms, salt, pepper in the pan for 10 minutes…….
…done
Adding 1/2 cup wine to pan.
Simmering ingreedients olive oil, garlic, sliced mushrooms, salt, pepper, wine in the pan for 6 minutes…….
…done
Warming up pan for 120 seconds…
…done
Adding 2 pinch pepper to pan.
Adding 1 tsp soy souce to pan.
Adding 2 catfish filets to pan.
Baking ingreedients in the oven (olive oil, garlic, sliced mushrooms, salt, pepper, wine, pepper, soy souce, catfish filets) for 25 minutes…….
…done
The dish is ready. Bon apetit!)

Of course, here’s the initialization stuff: 

var log = 'Replaying log: ';
var ingreedients = [];
ingreedients.next = function () {
  return ingreedients.pop();
}

var pan = new Object();
pan.add = function (ingreedient) {
  var i;
  if (!this.stuff) {
    this.stuff = '';
  }
  for (i in ingreedient) {
    if ('' != this.stuff) {
      this.stuff = this.stuff + ', ';
    }
    this.stuff = this.stuff + i;
  }
  console.log('Adding ' + ingreedient[i] + ' ' + i + ' to pan.');
  log += '\r\nAdding ' + ingreedient[i] + ' ' + i + ' to pan.';
}

pan.braise = function(seconds) {
  var start = new Date(), end, milis;
  // bad bad mojo but no time for writitng asynchronous calls and parallelization and stuff now
  console.log('Braising ' + this.stuff + '...');
  log += '\r\nBraising ' + this.stuff + '...';
  if (seconds < 40) {
    milis= seconds * 117;
    console.log('(I will compress time a little bit, of course)');
  } else {
    milis = 4000;
    console.log('(I will compress time a little bit, of course)');
  }
  do { end = new Date();}
  while (end - start < milis);
  console.log('...done');
  log += '\r\n...done';
}
pan.heat = function(seconds) {
  var start = new Date(), end, milis;
  // bad bad mojo but no time for writitng asynchronous calls and parallelization and stuff now
  console.log('Warming up pan for ' + seconds + ' seconds...');
  log += '\r\nWarming up pan for ' + seconds + ' seconds...';
  if (seconds < 40) {
    milis= seconds * 117;
    console.log('(I will compress time a little bit, of course)');
  } else {
    milis = 4000;
    console.log('(I will compress time a little bit, of course)');
  }
  do { end = new Date();}
  while (end - start < milis);
  console.log('...done');
  log += '\r\n...done';
}
pan.simmer = function (minutes) {
  var start = new Date(), end, milis;
  // bad bad mojo but no time for writitng asynchronous calls and parallelization and stuff now
  seconds = minutes * 60;
  milis= seconds * 1000;
  console.log('Simmering ingreedients ' + this.stuff + ' in the pan for ' + minutes + ' minutes...');
  log += '\r\nSimmering ingreedients ' + this.stuff + ' in the pan for ' + minutes + ' minutes...';
  var tickerTime = 600;
  var ticker = start;
  var breakAt = 2500;
  do {
    end = new Date();
    if (end - start > breakAt) {
      console.log('Compressing time a bit..........');
      start = end + 2500;
    }
    if (end - ticker > tickerTime) {
      ticker = end;
      console.log('.');
      log += '.';
    }
  }
  while (end - start < milis);
  console.log('...done');
  log += '\r\n...done';
}
pan.bake = function (minutes) {
  var start = new Date(), end, milis;
  // bad bad mojo but no time for writitng asynchronous calls and parallelization and stuff now
  seconds = minutes * 60;
  milis= seconds * 1000;
  console.log('Baking ingreedients in the oven (' + this.stuff + ') for ' + minutes + ' minutes...');
  log += '\r\nBaking ingreedients in the oven (' + this.stuff + ') for ' + minutes + ' minutes...';
  var tickerTime = 600;
  var ticker = start;
  var breakAt = 2500;
  do {
    end = new Date();
    if (end - start > breakAt) {
      console.log('\r\nCompressing time a bit..........');
      start = end + 2500;
    }
    if (end - ticker > tickerTime) {
      ticker = end;
      console.log('.');
      log += '.';
    }
  }
  while (end - start < milis);
  console.log('...done');
  log += '\r\n...done';
}
pan.serve = function() {
  console.log('The dish is ready');
  log += '\r\nThe dish is ready. Bon apetit!)';
}
var bakingPan = new Object(pan);
bakingPan.stuff = '';